Amy Winehouse Mends the Troubled Soul

They tried to make me go to rehab for smellin like dog dung. Yes I smell bad but when I get back I'll smell like...eh I would probably still smell like dog dung because it's seeped into my pores and is apart of who I am. Crikey! I think I'm developing a new supa power! Dog ODOUR!!!(you say odor like a frilly francias man) Yes in fact I think you all should stay away 'cause I have a 30 ft radius so...scadadal! This is no good I must cleanse!!!

Dum De Doo

Ever think you have the possibility to become really famous? Well I do. I realized that almost anytime I do anything that's public whether it be write a fantastic article, an amzing short story, be a lead in the school play, or even have the chance to win a grand prize I start in on how awesome my life is gonna be once I get discovered. I've also realized another thing though...I'm getting too old to be famous for something an adult could do. When I was twelve I had this fantastic idea to write a young adult book and get it published by the time I was thirteen but now sadly I'm a bit too past my prime to have that happen. I realize I could still write a book but I'm just too damned lazy! I really would love to write a book but being creative really does gnaw at the brain! It's hard!!! I try to think of new topics but everytime I do I end up only having enough for a short story. Me and my favey teacher were talking one day and we came up with an ace topic "What I Learned on the Bus" the only thing is I feel like I could only stretch that out as far as 9 pages before yawning and turning my attention to something else.

I'm such a procrastinator too. I bet everyone deep down even if they're a busy body is a procrastinator and hates it. They invented a drug that helps procrastination, ADDERAL, okay so maybe it's not for the general public but we've all heard the stories we know its the miracle drug that will help you consentrate on something for hours! I've never tried it but I'm sure it's very tempting to take in college when you have exams.

I've decided that I will write a Young Adult book, maybe it will be easier when I'm actually a young adult and not some twelve year old who thinks she knows what it's like to go through the tragic progression from girl to a young lady bursting with womanhood! If I do get it written within a year and get it published when I'm fifthteen and a half then I'm sure I could still get on the Today Show and get interviewed by Anne....not Meredith, I'm still bitter that she took Katie's spot. I will start writing and put bits of it on a seperate blogums, not all though because I'm sure my publisher wouldn't like that a bit. I will be like Imogen Heap asking for advice and what you all think!

I Could Never Be A Vegan

Well, Blimey O'Reilly my mother just called me and woke me up! Doesn't she know I need my day time sleep because I have Insomnia??? She told me to bag up all of my dirty clothes because we're going to the laundry mat tonight. So now I have to bag up all of my clothes because they are all dirty! I don't know about you but me personally I'm not one for cleaning even if it is all swift like that at the laundry mat! I really just dislike that place, it smells like cleanliness and such...yucky! Once I was there when I was a littlie and this woman tried to teach me how to fold a fitted sheet properly! You wanna know how I fold a fitted sheet? I ball it up and wrap it around itself so not only does it not take up much space but it also can be used as a nice hard object to hit at someone if they attack you or try to sell you chocolates when you've really been tryna fit into that Lucky Brand swimsuit that you bought on sale! At least I'll have some nice reading material though I have the new Us Weekly with an insider scoop on Nicole Richie and her baby!! Also the 4th issue of Missbehave recently came out so I think I'll read that puppy as I'm sitting on the dryers with uneven loads! Okay I wont really be doing any of that but I may indulge myself in a few animal bi-products while I'm there!

A new episode of Kyle XY is on tonight. I'm not really one for clone shows and such but Matt Dallas is dreamy. I love the way he trys to pick out belly button lint only to find he doesn't have a belly button awww lurve at first site!

RAWR SLEEP INSOMNIA!!!!!!!!!

I woke up to find that my recent liposuction was a big fat waste of money. I had finally gotten off that extra flab, the kind that ripples in the wind as if it were fine silk, only to find a few more things that Dr. Ray could have fixed! I should have gotten that Brazillian Butt Lift when he gave me the option! That mammary gland fondler would pay for not making me as happy an content as I thought I was going to be! I thought that getting lipo would somehow self actualize me and help me be happier with the person I am but all it's made me do is want some more Codeine! Okay...so I have never had Lipo and I love Dr.Ray I just thought it would be a lovely way to start this blog

Here's the real deal...I woke up from a wicked case of dry mouth so I decided to chew up some salt to see if my tongue would shrivle up like a pink snail....it didn't. After that I soon realized that I couldn't go to freaking bed! I tried and tried but all I got out of it was that I now have a new disease and to cure it would be menacing! I've decided that this is my somewhat lame SUPERPOWER!!!!...rawr! So to put my superpowers to use I did the only thing I thought was fitting for it; I went to every little fourteen year olds addiction, MySpace! I logged on to see if anyone shared my little superpower, alas I was only sorrowed to find no one in their right mind is awake at 4:32 AM! I went over to my favorite bands page, LOLA RAY. I was gonna see if they had anything new on their page and they didn't, just like every other MySpace page it was filled with silly nonsense or should I say lotsa sense. Yes that's a better term for it. It was BORING! I love those hella guys but puh-leaze I was looking at the same thing I had looked at last week! Maybe a few more comments about how they're so great and some crazy chick who wants them to baptize her puppy but still a big fat YAWN. I had to do something quick something unthinkably swift and clever because this ferociously yawnical site was making me lose my superpower! Quickly I searched their site till I found something great, better than the Beacon of Truth('cause honestly who doesn't love a good lie?) it was their blogspot page! I quickley realized that me and Brian have somethings that are rad in common such as: An odd love for Criss Angel, Strong Hatred for My SuperSweet Sixteen brats, an Unsatiable love for Iced Coffee, and...INSOMNIA! Yes now my life was complete except for the fact that I could have died in the next erm say four hours and no one would have known!!!! So I started a devisively elaborate plan to tell the world of my knowledge so I opened....my first blogspot account. I know I could have just posted a bulliten on MySpace or a blog, but who would really appreciate it? That lame girl who's been giving me the cyber evil eye? Those crazy gun wielding friends of mine? Hmm...possibly all my loved ones whom I'm friends with on there...but it's doubtful. So I decided to branch out and share my wisdom with the world! You're probably thinking that my amazing knowledge of the world is nothing for you but believe me tiger you're gonna wanna lick it up baby, LICK. IT. UP. So ending with some great words from Heathers I'm off to go man handle my guinea pig, Jacqueline Onassis(who also has a myspace page!)

Good Morning and Fairwell